bold moves

another jem from tyler landry at dugost.com

i'm a bit conflicted as i write this. i'm feeling pressure to update you all on what went down in o-town last night between myself and a.b. yet, i'll admit that i do find this element of blogging to be somewhat invasive and created this blog with the intent of avoiding this kind of writing -- the boring, navel gazing, this-is-what-i-did-today sort of thing... over the summer i have shifted in this direction more. i like having a forum to toss out my ideas and have them trashed or rubber stamped by you, some of my closest friends. and it's anonymous, so i reckon there's no great harm, but i sometimes wonder...

clearly, if this is the shit i'm talking about, ol' evil did not get ass last night. i pounced him after the honky tonk concert. at this place in his bedroom. it was a bold move. i forced him against the wall and laid a big wet one right on his lips. but the fucker wouldn't kiss me back. flattered, he said, but straight as an arrow. (we were both quite drunk, and i secretly admit that i was almost too drunk to even have sex by this point, but nonetheless...)

liar! i screamed. why don't you date girls then? why would you corner a homo one night when you were tanked and confess to me that you're bisexual? i asked. you're a closet case! i roared. no replies, just a stready "you're fantatsic, if i were gay i'd pick you but i prefer women." by this point the two of us were on his bed and were rolling around. i kept kissing him but he wouldn't kiss me back.

agony!

then i got aggro (mostly with myself) and announced i was leaving. suddenly he seemed to take care at how drunk i was and offered me his couch (also located in his bedroom). he seemed concerned that i was a bit frustrated and tried to calm me down, told me that he still wants to be great friends and besides, who else can he fence with? but i would have none of it and stormed out.

and that's how it all went down. did i mention it was his birthday too?

today i found myself on a long walk... from time to time i go on walks in search of something beautiful. a person, human behaviour, a vista, a tree... i walked for hours and found nothing. i concluded from this that i couldn't find anything because i was looking too hard for it. (i also concluded that o-hole's urban planners are a bunch of fucking terrorists. but that's another entry.) and i guess that's the point.

but this is all too personal isn't it? no one wants to read this, and i barely want to even admit any of this happened. i also barely want to admit that i bumped into a.b. a few hours ago on bank street and ignored him and in turn he ignored me back.