pussy

starting with some old yarns from back in the day, let me tell you about this chick in vansterdam named pussy, aka the puss... so pussy sends me this email today which goes a little like this:

dear evil,
did they not teach you at (b-list canadian university) that plagiarism is a crime? though i really don't mind if you lift lines from my emails. it is an honour to see them on your blog. perhaps you can regale us with stories of your new and improved sex life? and i would like to know what happened to the 2nd comment i posted on your site? have you got the power to delete them? i am appalled at the censorship. you of all people should support freedom of speech. i look forward to your response to these matters.
sincerely,
the puss

and i am thinking like, damn, why you all up on me like that? a.) i have no idea what line it is that i allegedly stole and b.) i didn't delete shit... if you left a comment then you must've fucked it up. just ask cap'n bosworth j. shrimpstain (keep on living the dream, brother) if you don't believe me. my reply went like this:

pussy,
have you forgotten to take your meds again? i haven't the gentlest idea what you are talking about.
regrets,
evil

but this email exchange does not a yarn make. the real story here is how she got the name pussy... she actually had a real name when i met her back in '03 in vansterdam's bohemian mount pleasant 'hood, but one evening after giving her pubic thatch a good wednesday evening bicking (fortified by some bc bud and a couple stiff drinks) this chick just get in poontang's and t-tunt's grill and is all like "you wanna see my pussy? i'll show you my pussy!" then, with a rock star's flourish, jerks her pants off and shrieks: "pussay! pussay!" while flashing her tight cunt in the air... and she's been pussy ever since.

i kid you not. but then she replies again:

sir evil,
i should have known that my email would end up on your site. Although, I think you need to get your facts straight. i don't shave my pussy. i only wax. it really cuts down on the bumps and razor burn. maybe you should try it. also, i only shrieked, "pussay", one time.
yours,
puss-o-rama

the royal canadian haiku factory would like to take this opportunity to offer puss-o-rama our sincerest apoligies for the misrepresentation of facts. thank you for the clarificationne...